A recent article by Red Magazine entitled 'Men Still Prefer Women to be Young & Skinny, says new study' had me swearing into my morning cuppa.
Of course, the lovely team at Red were simply highlighting the results of a new study and were, frankly, as unimpressed as I was by this 'study' conducted by Professor John Speakman...because yes ladies, apparently even with the need to find cures for a whole variety of life-threatening illnesses, and ways to fix a million environmental issues...there are still studies being conducted on seriously important issues like what age and body shape men find more attractive! And no, I couldn't find any evidence of a similar test for women, because heaven forbid we should upset anyone by saying what we find attractive in men! And the truth is that this kind of 'study' is totally vacuous and misleading. Honestly, if there was a female equivalent of this test I'm betting that most of us would pick the young, muscular guy as our 'favourite', but it means absolutely zip in the real world of love and chemistry, and says nothing about what we are actually attracted to in a long term partner.
So, feeling fed-up with this type of ridiculous study and ongoing converstaion about men prefering younger women, I decided to conduct my own in-depth study...by asking my male friends (and male friends of friends) on Facebook 'What do you love about women over 40?'. Ladies, the answers were refreshingly wonderful and within minutes restored my faith in men...and 'cough', highly scientific studies.
From their beauty, to their confidence, to their intelligence and sexiness - men love women over 40 for a whole variety of reasons, no matter what the media or studies would have us believe. As Marc said 'An older woman knows which bullshit is worth it and which is a waste of her time.' - Hell yes to that! And thank god, because whilst the media loves to keep telling us that we should all want to be 20, not a single woman I know would want to be her 20-year-old self again. My friend Bridgit summed up the way many of us feel about our younger years (and how we feel now) perfectly:
' I was always trying to please. Always trying to be good enough. Always trying to make people like me and "keep their interest". Worried about what they thought etc. Now I don't really need that in order to be happy. Here I am, warts and all. You like it - terrific. You don't - well there it is too...I think it's something that we as female human beings need to learn, and sometimes that takes time and a few crashes along the way.'
And it is that growing confidence in ourselves that men really do find attractive and sexy. Relationship expert and author of 'Powerful Woman, Confident Man', Ken Blackman, had these words of wisdom about women over 40 to share:
'Women over 40 are no bs, and all the pretense you as a man have carefully cultivated to woo younger women will have to be dropped. At first you will feel like "nothing works." Then you'll realize nothing works except dropping the facade completely and talking totally straight. Then you'll find it the most refreshing way of relating you've ever experienced. Women over 40 will draw out your mature Man, in a way that younger women won't. Who you have to become to interact with a self-assured, capable woman will serve you in all areas of your life. You will uplevel as a man and as a human being significantly. Women over 40 are [also] much better in bed than in their 20's and 30's. I have often heard there's a sexual awakening after about 42 that they totally didn't expect. The whole dynamic shifts from willingness to appetite and mutual enjoyment.'
So, do men really prefer younger women? Perhaps, if it's a straight forward photo choice, but in real life? Definitely not. And if you still have any doubts about what men love about women over 40, then this perfect resposnse by Matthew should help:
'Same things that were great about them before…it horrifies me to think that ‘society’ disregards older women. More fool society!'
And, if you haven't read it before, here is a brilliantly written piece entitled 'In Praise of Older Women', by Frank Kaiser:
'When I was 20, I had eyes only for girls my age. Any woman over 30 was ancient, over 40 invisible. Today, now in my 70s, I still appreciate the 20-year-old for her youthful looks, vigor, and (occasional) sweet innocence.
As I grow in age, I value mature ladies most of all.
Here are just a few of the reasons senior men sing the praises of older women:
An older woman will never ask out of the blue, “What are you thinking?” An older woman doesn’t care what you think.
An older woman has been around long enough to know who she is, what she wants, and from whom. By the age of 50, few women are wishy-washy. About anything. Thank God!
Older women are forthright and honest. They’ll tell you right off that you are a jerk if you’re acting like one. A young woman will say nothing, fearing that you might think worse of her. An older woman doesn’t give a damn.
Older women are sublime. They seldom contemplate having a shouting match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive dinner. Of course, if you deserve it, they won’t hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it.
Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to an older woman. Like your mother, they always know.
Yes, we geezers praise older women for a multitude of reasons. These are but a few.
Unfortunately, it’s not reciprocal.
For every stunning, smart, well-coifed babe of 75 there’s a bald, paunchy relic with his yellow pants belted at his armpits making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress. Ladies, I apologize for my fellow geezers. That men are genetically inferior is no secret. Count your blessings that we die off at a far younger age, leaving you the best part of your lives to enjoy and appreciate the exquisite woman you’ve become.'