The Fear of Being Seen
by Sandra Pilarczyk
'Nobody wants to listen to me!'
'I have nothing new to say!'
'Why bother anyway?'
'What if they judge me?'
'Everything I want to say somebody else already does!'
'Who am I to put myself out there?'
Have you ever had these thoughts? If so, you're not alone. Author and Spiritual teacher, Marianne Williamson, said in her famous quote:
'We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?'
Who are you NOT to be...
Be the person you really want to be. Make the impact you really want to make. Be fearless and courageous!
It all sounds great doesn't it - in theory.
But the reality is that sometimes fear is holding you back. Fear of being judged. Fear of ridicule. Fear of failure. Fear of success. Fear of 'insert whatever comes to your brain right now!' That pesky fear of being seen. How is that working out for you?
Are you living your life on auto-pilot, staying safe, and keeping procrastination as your best friend?
I get it, and here's what you can do about it:
Address those Limiting beliefs
Yup ...these are all the things your monkey mind is telling you. The things which hold you back from being seen. Often courtesy of 'well meaning or not so well meaning' family members, co-workers, partners, nay-sayers etc. There are lots of ways and techniques to help clear your limiting beliefs such as tapping, meditation, NLP, training, coaching, courses, books....
My best advice:
Throw everything at it and see what works for you!
Because this one is well worth putting some time and tears into. Without clearing those pesky buggers everything you'll do, and say, won't feel authentic to you. You'll continue to put on a mask and it will keep feeling hard. At the end however, it all comes down to YOU making a decision: the decision that you'll no longer allow these limiting beliefs to hold you back.
know your Purpose
Confidence comes with clarity. Clarity about what you stand for and clarity about your message. And before you run off now, not even wanting to think about that, here's a very short overview of what your message might include:
Your vision & mission: A vision simply means having a clear idea about where you want to be, what you want to achieve and what that looks like. And your mission is what makes that possible.
Your story: If you're an introvert like me, this will possibly make you cringe. The good news is that your story is not your autobiography! It's simply a way to show off your experience by making yourself think: Been there, done that, got the T-Shirt. That's your story.
There is a danger in life of being too comfortable. The danger of doing things you're always doing.
Which usually means you're not making the impact you really want to make.
And that requires you to step up into a new level of comfort zone (you know, that place where the magic happens) on a consistent basis.
You know that book you always wanted to write? Make today the day you put some words on the screen.
The talk you want to give? Make today the day you research TED talks in your country.
That guru in your industry you would love to get on your podcast: Make today that day to ask your friends if they have a connection to introduce you.
The 'next big thing' offer you've been dreaming about: Today is a good day to talk to somebody about it.
Evolve every day. Make it a commitment. A commitment to evolve into the person you admire and are proud off.
Will that guarantee your overnight success? No. Of course not. It all takes time. And consistency. And courage. But it's not rocket science either!
What have you got to lose? And how much will you gain?
Start with making that decision. The decision to be seen. It's your time.
Sandra Pilarczyk ( pronounced PEELARZEEK) is a mentor to introverted business owners assisting them in creating and leading sustainable businesses on their own terms, and helping them to share their authentic messages, backed up with powerful, sound business strategies.